I was stuck in a jam the other day (1303). Thus, my mind starts to roam a little. If I were to be a mother, what base would I use to teach my kids?

I remembered how I was brought up to who I am now today. I must say that, I wasnt really satisfied with alot of things. I always felt that I was left out in the family. Nor was I loved or liked. It was pretty depressing, thus the constant look out for new hideouts, or outings, just to get out of the house. Dont get me wrong, my parents are good parents. But I think they are overwhelmed with their own problems that I felt kinda neglected. Or maybe I was just another depressed kid that crave for attention.

So I grew up looking for attention. I must say I did quite lots of things that I am not proud of, just because of this. And I had written lots of notes for the future me (now), telling myself that, “in the event that I have kids on my own, I must remember not to treat them like this..or like that…”

I would love to make my parents as my role model to be a good parent. But, I think that in the future, if I have kids, I will raise them a little differently. I will try not to base on my past to teach my kids. I guess, the correct word should be, I must be on constant lookout for improvements.

I believe that with a child under my care, there will be alot of relearning and experience. Like my whole life is renewed. Somehow I feel just that.

My friend who just become a mom told me that it’s in the instinct of every women in becoming a mom. We have 9 months to adjust ourselves, to get ready to welcome the baby, and to prepare ourselves for many years to come to be a good role model. I hope she’s right.

Gosh. I sounds like I cant wait to get my own baby.. LoL