I have been roaming around aimlessly for the past few years. Not knowing what I should be doing. What is right, what is wrong. We all have ups and downs everyday. Some chose to live by the day. Some aim for higher. Others, live to survive.
There’s a proverb saying, Life starts at 40. I didnt realize how meaningful this sentence means, until it hit me one day. When we are young, we never thought how we want us to be when we hit 20. When we hit 20, we were still trying out new stuff, trying to be smart, trying to impress others that we are one hell of an intelligent human being on earth. Then, it was all about then. Never future. What happen when we hit 40? What will happen to us then?
We were asked to dream since we were young. Dream of what you want in the future. “Tell us what would you want to be when you are older”,said my primary school teacher when I was just 7 years old. “Doctor”.”Lawyer”.”Fireman”.”Teacher”.”Policeman”.etc.
Then by the time we were much older, when we are posted with the same question, our replies differ. “Architect”.”Vet”.”Graphic Designer”.”Businessman”.”Engineer”.
We were told to dream hard. And make it happen. How many of us actually do that? But I know all of us wish for our dreams to happen. But most of us didnt make it to the path that we dreamt.
I for one, dreamt to be a lawyer when I was 7. Wanted to be an architect when I was 14. And when I reaches 19, my life made a big switch. When I was offered a job in an international corporate company at 19, I chose to work against going to the University. Then, I was thinking – “hell. I have no money to study. Why wanna burden my next 20 years with study loan that does not promise me a good future?” I didnt thought of pursueing to become an architect. 6 years of studies is just too much burden for me with my family background. My parents was earning only decent RM2k (USD 530only) to feed the family of 6. I was the eldest. I have 3 more brothers and sister below me.
My real journey starts. I started earning part time money when I was 15. But I spent my first salary on junk food that I never get hold of when I was younger. Haha. The feeling of pushing a trolley of junk food just, amazing. Despite the lecture I had gotten from my ma after that.
Eventhough I had eaten alot of salt and rice for the past 25 years, I am sad to say that I still feel lost and hungry. I dont know why I feel lost, when I already know what I want. Maybe because, “What I want, I want it NOW”, makes me weak and unmotivated at times. I should slow down and not rush things. (But not too slow).
There are tons of things to be learnt now. One thing that I have to remember:
I AM BETTER THAN I THINK
Like Dolly Kee says:
THOUGHTS -> WORDS -> ACTIONS -> HABIT -> CHARACTER -> DESTINY
Thinking alone is not enough. We have to generate it into habit and built our character to reach our destiny.
it is my 40th birthday on 29 april and is it tru life begins at forty. from christopher lloyd.
By: christopher on April 14, 2010
at 6:17 pm
what would you do to start the first of 40 birthday when it coms around that be for me on 29 of april
and why is it begins on 40.from christopher lloyd.
ps pleas replay.
By: christopher on April 14, 2010
at 6:24 pm
This was a very sweet, honest, uplifting (believe it or not!), and an open post. Thank you dear. Me too, almost 40. Well, turning 38, in april. but i feel more myself than ever, and i too want, what i want, and TIME is the part that gets me too sometimes. it drives me mad sometimes, but i kinda realized, being a CHRISTian, that only JESUS can really give us what we WANT.
Yeaaa!! good news. i came to realize that life is a journey, and we really feel anxious about getting to the end, that we actually want to skip over all the middle part, but that’s part of the journey, and where we learn a lot!
i learned that NO PERSON or THING can make us happy. That CHRIST is our True Friend, never lets us down, and CAN fulfill ALL that longing inside that we have, of what we want.
We feel lost and hungry for JESUS. that is the feeling that you are having, and we all. every time i turn to someone, or something else that isn’t GOD, i get all cooky in my head, i feel dizzy, disoriented, i feel inside i’m complaining, unhappy, dissatisfied, unfulfilled, empty, and angry even, that what i tried didn’t work, again!
then i read some scriptures, and i feel calm again. i feel more at peace, more centered b/c GOD centered me, b/c i hear JESUS’ words, and i feel much better. and i decided That’s better, to feel nice, at peace, good, calm, not stormy inside, to feel like there is someONE on this GOD’s green earth that can give me ALL that i’m wanting, and that’s JESUS. HE’s the ONE that i’ve been looking for. HE’s the ONE that can fulfill ALL my needs, not any thing or person. they all disappoint.
i learned that there isn’t ANYTHING or ANYONE in this whole world that can make me happy but JESUS CHRIST. Lastly, I would like to say that i love your truth, and i too feel really, really happy, good, peaceful, calm, and myself, when i speak my truth. thank you dear, for your truth. we know that truth sets us free, and we worship JESUS, being GOD, in Spirit, and in truth.
Ephesians 4:25 (KJV)
25Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man TRUTH with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
Much love to you dear, and God bless to you, in Christ.
By: servant of CHRIST on February 28, 2012
at 11:09 pm